I came down sick with COVID a few weeks back and (sadly) missed the funeral for a friend of mine named Charlie.
Charlie was a retired judge, a longtime member of our church, and a constant encourager to me. I came to know him, first, by email. Charlie was wont to send me lengthy emails after one of my sermons or blog posts. And like most pastors, I have some latent anxiety that spikes whenever I open a message to see not sentences but paragraphs. Paragraphs are bad. All preachers know it, even if we only tell our therapists.
But Charlie’s emails weren’t critical. They were funny, encouraging, and (above all) marked by signs of a first-rate mind at work. Invariably, when I referred to an author in my message—Cormac McCarthy, David Foster Wallace, Ernest Becker—Charlie would approach me afterward to chat. He’d read them, even the not-so-churchy ones. And I came to relish his long emails.
At the funeral (which I watched on video), Charlie’s wife shared openly about the prior chapters of his life: the ones I didn’t know. The Navy. His years as an avowed atheist. And the alcoholism that might have killed him. Miraculously, Charlie eventually found sobriety and Christ. And at a mid-stage of life when most men sink into the comfortable ruts of a long-held career, Charlie went back to school to become a lawyer.
Eventually, he became a judge.
One legal story from the funeral struck me. It was of a young mother in Charlie’s jurisdiction who faced serious charges stemming from her opioid addiction. Instead of sentencing her to prison as he might have, Charlie got her help, he provided her a path to drug court, and her life was transformed just as his had been.
He was a just judge. But he was also an empathetic one, partly because of his own battle with addiction. He had been there, and it helped him help others.
On Holy Week especially, Charlie’s story reminded me of another reason Christians find the Jesus-story so compelling. The Messiah is indeed the Judge of all humanity, before whom we must stand (2 Corinthians 5:10; 2 Timothy 4:1). Yet Christ is also empathetic. To be sure, merciful understanding was never absent from the life of God. (Thus it is wrong to say Jesus somehow transformed the Father from a vengeful tyrant to a kindly grandpa.)
Long before the time of Christ, the psalmist wrote the following:
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
(Psalm 103:13–14)
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
Yet Jesus’s unique empathy flows from his firsthand experience of suffering and temptation. Though Christ was sinless, he experienced the full weight of human frailty, abuse, and death itself.
The Book of Hebrews thus picks up this empathetic thread when speaking of our great high priest:
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.”
(Hebrews 4:15)
On Good Friday, this message in especially important.
In a way, my lesson from Charlie is that justice is not only about retribution. It is also about a battle-hardened empathy that leads to restoration, and—if you’re lucky… —long emails.
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