“Clutter is the official language used by corporations to hide their mistakes.”

William Zinsser penned that line in On Writing Well, but it resonates for anyone who’s had to endure a meeting or press release filled with what I affectionately call “corporate word vomit”—that is, recycled managerial euphemisms designed to mask bad news beneath a thin veneer of metaphor and sunny ambiguity.

For example: The branch isn’t closing. It’s going through a “strategic restructuring” to become more “nimble” so we can “pivot” toward “optimization” by “right-sizing” our “employee footprint” to “maximize efficiency” for the challenges and opportunities ahead. (Now box up your things.)

While I’m exaggerating, I’m convinced Christian leaders especially should reject this kind of talk as it tries to worm its way into churches, universities, and Christian non-profits. For one thing, there’s no precedent for it in the words of Christ, the prophets, or apostles. And there are many scriptural analogues to it in the language of false prophets, corrupt kings, and even Satan himself.

The trouble is not merely that such talk is inexact and weird (though it is); it’s that it verges on deception. Scripture frequently equates “smooth words” with deceit used to mislead the naïve. And for those who aren’t naïve, it can be both insulting and annoying.

Many years ago, I remember sitting through an update in which it was relayed that there would be substantial cutbacks because our numbers were “soft.” What is a soft number? I wondered. Is three more pillowy than four? Can you prick your finger on the sharp edge of a two? (Turns out, zero is softest; no edges at all.)

I was reminded of this frustration upon reading the official press release on the closing of Trinity Evangelical Divinity School’s Deerfield campus after years of financial difficulties. TEDS has long been a flagship evangelical seminary, and I’m sad for the loss of jobs and potential impact that will happen as the school is absorbed by Canada’s Trinity Western University. Yet upon reading the official announcement, there was so much verbal camouflage and clutter that the lede wasn’t so much buried as clothed in a ghillie suit and hidden in the bushes.

If there is a lesson here, it’s that Christian leaders (whether pastors, principals, CEOs, or university presidents) must find ways to marry truth with tact, rejecting evasive or deceptive corporate-speak in favor of calm but clear assessments of the reality at hand.

That’s difficult, and I suspect I’d fail at it on numerous occasions.

Still, the goals of clarity, simplicity, and truth-telling are worth pursuing. To steal a line to Habakkuk (2:2),

“Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may run with it.”

If that fails, imagine that upon each use of evasive managerial jargon (nimbly pivoting to right-size optimal efficiency), a kitten dies.

---

Hello friends. Please subscribe on the home page to receive these posts by email. This is especially helpful since I’ve decided (mostly) to uncouple the blog from social media. I’m grateful for you. ~JM